Between Mom and Me: Mother Son Journal Diary – May 2, 2016

from C. COOPER on January 13, 2017Our Most Difficult Bonding: Mother - Child"Around this time last year I was having the most difficult time in my relationship with my oldest son.To say we were in crisis would be accurately describing it.I had tried all the ways I knew how to motivate him to do what I thought was best and had failed.Yeah, did you catch that?Our interactions became so stressful. He was frustrated and I was unyielding.I didn't know what else to do (punishment, positive motivation, prayer).Have you been there?A dear friend rescued me.Aware that I was going through this, she showed up on my doorsteps, un-announced, during one of my desperate attempts to fix it all, one day.I am so grateful I have beautiful amazing friends to grow wise with, as we wing this Mom gig together. Cherish those friends in your lives, be that friend, dear Moms!Her visit was a turning point for me (because I don't wanna call it an intervention).I realized my son's love language is what I needed to KNOW and LIVE OUT if I wanted to reach him. Yes, I heard it straight from him.Knowing this and taking action has been transformative. [read some of my other Connecting With Your Child posts for more on this.]Then just last month, I found something that perfectly fits his love language.The Between Mom & Me - Mother Son Journal.I've known that my son always saves every little note I write to him.He hangs on to every heart shaped post-it that I stick on his laptop screen.But I was not prepared for this.I read through the journal and decided to introduce it to him and start using it this week. Honestly, I just hoped I could keep it together and not bawl through every page I wrote or read.We've done four pages.So far just ONE page lacked bawling. The other three, forgetttaboutit.Katie Clemons, a brilliant author and mom herself, created this journal so Mom and Child can record memories together, swap stories, compare perspectives and explore common and unique interests. Letters back and forth and interactive lists invite you both to reflect, write, and doodle about topics timely to your life as your son builds self-confidence.The intro has a Mom's Perspective note with great ideas on how to implement this.I love that Katie writes, "...boys can also feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to share intimate things aloud --like "hey Mom, I have armpit hair now!"I laughed and imagined that type of randomness out of my son making its way into our journal...which of course, I would be totally open to! Of course. [Putting in my request now for Katie to work on a Dad and Son Journal next, please and thank you!]...Besides the writing itself, my son's other favorite part of this is that we get to pick a special spot (read: no little brother meddling) where we place the journal in order to pass it back and forth when we're done with our entries. We decided that when he finishes writing his page he places it in between the stack of books on my night stand. When I finish reading what he wrote and replying, I place it in between the stack of books next to his bed, too!Guess what is the first thing he does when he wakes up in the mornings?Twice now he came running to wake me up and I got the best, most heartfelt I-love-you with a hug. But the first time it was followed by some eye-opening, heartrending words. After hugging me, he said:"I always knew you loved me, but it makes me feel loved when I read all of that and know that you took time to write it, not just say it."Seriously, people. Am I just too busy or caught up in the days that I couldn't see this before???Yes, since my last stress crisis, I had definitely slowed down from the frantic scheduling and accomplishment-driven mode in hyper academics, volunteering commitments, and everything else in between, BUT I had NOT taken that very same energy and determination to focus on the heart matters. I had NOT given it priority.Have you been there?If I would prioritize tending to his heartas much as I prioritize tending to hisacademics, his sports, his extracurricular, his faith, his volunteering, his social life...The journal is not just back and forth individual writing, some of the pages you and your son get to do together!We have made time to sit together, uninterrupted to work on the pages at the same time. I can't tell you how precious those minutes were!I also imagine, as Katie very much intended, what it will be like to pick up this journal in 5 and even 10 years.Don't even get me started. The waterworks.I saw that one of the pages we haven't done yet has this prompt question from your son to you: "Tell me about a relative I didn't get to know well."My own Mom. I get to write the best funniest, fun, loving, and treasured memories about her to my son who was so little when she went to Heaven.I'm gonna need to do this one during deep sobbing, shuddering-shoulder, ugly-cry day when I'm home alone. Penciling it in now, right after my pedicure.I purchased this journal myself and received no monetary compensation for it or for writing this post. My opinions here are truly because we love this and the additional emotional connection and bonding it has provided my son and me.Now here is the page of our journal I am able to share with you because it was funny and I only teared up a little bit as I smiled writing it to him.His page with the same question about me, however, did me in.Yep. Not gonna lie.But he did write that he "gets his sarcastic humor from me."Which I thought was hillarious. No idea what he's talking about!This is my page, writing to him: ..."More including personal photos on RealMomsWingingIt.

We got this as a gift for our grandson and daughter and they're enjoying it. Our grandson is 7, which might be a bit on the young side for this, but he's a little advanced and has been enjoying it. They're very intentional about connecting and this has been a very good tool for that.

This journal is definitely a hit. I love doing this with my son. Creating quality time and bonding with him we both laugh and enjoy sharing and doing this together at the end of the day

I'll keep it short: Mt son is 5. I came home when he turned 4. Its been an uphill battle top connect. This is simple enough for him, meaningful enough for us both. It's slow going, but we work on it together or separate and it has made a big difference in communication between us.

I got this for my son and I to use. He is getting older and it’s something fun we can do to keep in touch without him having to always directly say everything. I can’t wait to have it for a keepsake!

My son is 4 and this is geared towards other kids but he wanted to do one just like his sister has with me. So we went with this. It’s more of a go through the pages and watch him scribble but I think it’s something he enjoys doing even if it’s not super deep in meaning right now.

Absolutely love this little book. I’m already so close to my kids we talk about everything, but this is a great tool to embrace their creativity and deepest thoughts. Writing things out is a wonderful therapy for both parties. Doing this with you child is an amazing way to build that bridge of communication and reassurance between one another. We just started on the first few pages but I’ll be ordering one for my older daughter too! Totally worth it and it’s two in one with it being a keepsake. Thank you!

My son enjoyed answering the questions, then began writing the answers. It was a learning process and well as a shared experience.

REALLY disappointed with this journal. I loved the idea, and was hoping to use it with my 9 year old son, but the journal is very overpriced (I paid nearly 10 GBP including postage) and it's very poorly thought out and presented. (I could have come up with something better than this, in an afternoon on the computer...) It would have been better if there were more lines to write on in the journal, instead of boxes. It's recommended for 9 years plus, I believe, but it doesn't encourage a lot of writing - many of the entries call for pictures/photos. Not impressed. I'm going to look into sending it back but it came from the US, and it's print-on-demand so I'm guessing it won't be possible. I like the "Q&A a day for kids" diary A LOT better (which I bought for my 7 year old, but would have been ideal for both ages). Really disappointed. Don't waste your money.

It's a very cute back and forth journal. I have another one that I bought for my eldest son and this is for my youngest. I'm looking forward to doing it with him and has great age appropriate activities. It is in American English, but doesn't really interfere with the usability for those of us in the UK. I'm very happy with it.

I love the journals that Katie Clemons designs and this is no exception. There are lots of prompts to get the creative juices flowing and the imagination fired up. This mother and son journal is a great way to get an insight into your child - things you wouldn't normally talk about in every day conversation come up whilst exchanging thoughts in this journal. A great tool to get your son writing - and a wonderful way to bond.

I bought this book for my son's 8th birthday for me and him to do together. We have filled in a little bit and done some colouring together so far. Loads of really quirky pages to fill in and colouring. We really enjoyed it so far. Really good mum and son bonding time and mindfulness.

I bought this for my daughter and I wished I could have had this for me to have done with all my children. Absolutely fantastic way to record memories and encourage open communication with your children. Love it