Letters Never Sent, a global nomad's journey from hurt to healing

I have had this book for several years but had avoided reading it because I sensed I would cry through most of it. And I was right: I cried through most of it. But I had found myself in a season of grief already, so I thought I might be ready to enter in to the sacred space of Ruth’s story. The book is about a Missionary Kid/Third Culture Kid who grew up in boarding school, but that is not all it is about.Letters Never Sent is also for anyone who has grown up in Christian circles and, as a result, thought they had to be perfect or could never admit weakness. It’s for anyone trying to measure up and continuing to fail in their attempts. This book is even for anyone who grew up poor and wondered at the unfairness of the world (honestly it was refreshing for her to tackle such a seemingly “earthly” issue as that of money). And of course it is especially for those who grew up in boarding schools and didn’t feel permission to speak all of their feelings about it over the years.Ruth is a generation (or more) ahead of me in life, yet every issue she tackled felt modern and relevant. Don’t skip it just because her TCK experience differs from yours, or because you are afraid of facing the grief. This is an important book.

Letters Never Sent hits the heart of those of us who grew up in our parents' suitcases until we were old enough to carry them to boarding school or the next destination. We carry with us wonderful memories from our many travels, yet we also carry insufferable hurt as we try to assimilate or acculturate even back into our "passport" culture. Even our own parents, who were raised in their own "passport" countries cannot grasp what it means to us to move in environments as a "TCK" or Third Culture Kid.Stick with the book through the first part... the reward comes from the middle to the end, when Ruth discusses the healing process from a faithful Christian perspective. Ruth's healing process helps a TCK find meaning in behaviors which are unique to adults who experienced this lifestyle growing up... making friends quickly, depression and grief from too many losses or traumatic experiences, and difficulty with fitting into cultural community groups, especially in the USA and the alienation that follows...

This book gives an important insight into the life of a TCK. Ruth van Reken describes what life as a TCK was in the fifties and sixties. No telephone, very slow mail and the complete loneliness of a child growing up among worlds.The loneliness and the grief children experience while growing up as TCK still seems to be a taboo nowadays. Children on the move are often asked to be resilient, to adapt and to be grateful for the life they're leading. Today we know that those children need more support (like Ruth van Reken and David Pollock did brilliantly point out in " Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition "). - This book is a must read for every parent of a TCK and every TCK!

Although I admit I was surprised about how much about her christian beliefs were presented, l learned to look beyond religion and read the scriptures she includes as words of wisdom, reflections. I particularly like the epilogue. It wraps up her experience and gives it a broader context , helping other types of TCK understand her story

Excellent book; touches on issues of children growing up in a third culture, separation from parents for educational reasons, and the healing touch of true communication.

A classic to understand missionary kids and third culture kids adjustment issues through a lifetime.

So powerful

awesome book, i recommend reading it, you will gain a lot of personal insights from it. Her journey will influence yours.

This is a superlative collection of writings, exposing, and explaining the workings of the mind of a child, from the perspective of the adult, to bring understanding, and work towards closure. Highly recommended for any whose childhoods have been "unusual"...

These letters resonate deeply with me. They help me on my own journey as I give myself permission to grieve my own childhood losses. Thank you Ruth Van Reken for your vulnerability and honesty.

This book has touched me deeply. I am thankful for Ruth's openness about her life story. May it be of help to many others as well.