Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior

This book was recommended by a PhD professor and I’m so glad we bought all the books recommended. They recommended we start with this one and so we have. It’s an awesome book to help anyone understand and just know, you are NOT alone! I felt extremely alone at first and people started opening up and I realized I wasn’t so alone in this. Anyway, that’s pretty personal for review so I pray it helps! In Jesus name, AMEN!!!

I read this book and implemented each step with more confidence, patience, and hope. It has helped my adhd daughter so much because we use a “ daily report card” and point system just like it teaches you.I call it comprehensive because it’s the only book I’ve read to ask parents to truly examine themselves in order to figure out what obstacles are preventing success in your child. It’s helped my relationship with my child and creating structure for better days ( hopefully years) ahead.

I agree with the reviewer above that the book is heavy on practical advice, backed up with research (which is important to me). I found it helpful for my situation, but not the best book I have read. I think the book is basically aimed at parents with a young school-aged child (K-3, maybe), with ADHD and defiance, and no other significant issues. Anyone else will be tweaking the content pretty much, but it's still good information.To summarize the content, Barkely recommends that you begin by spending positive time with your child (15 minutes, basically every day). He gives concrete suggestions for how to do this, even if it seems impossible right now. He directs parents to implement only this one change for the first week, and to keep it up, basically, forever.The second week, he guides the reader in setting up a system to reinforce the desired behaviors. He uses a token system. Some younger kids might struggle with that, but he does give a few tips on how to address that difficulty. I think most kindergarteners could catch on. Younger kids, I don't know.... I like that the kids are basically being asked to do the same things you would ask of any child. Then you set up the pricing guide so that they use most (about 2/3) of their points to buy things that most kids get for free. So it's not a cushy bribe, it's just the old method of taking privileges away, turned on it's head.Then he begins to guide the parent through a series of steps to implement fairly mild, very consistent consequences for misbehavior. The consequences consist of losing the points they gained for doing the right things (above), and time out.He also gives advice for how to work with the school, and how to fade out the intensive behavior-modification program described above.What I liked about it:1. Heavy on practical tips. (It's actually a cookbook approach, and the author does not really recommending customizing the program.)2. Backed up all claims with research3. With tweaking, the basic idea worked well.4. The author is up-front about the time/energy required of parents in order to implement this system.5. The book is clear on when to seek outside help.What I thought could be improved:1. No mention of how to integrate the new-ish research on emotional coaching being published by Gardener. With the heavy emphasis on research, I was surprised. Maybe it's not in there because it seems difficult to mesh the two ideas (but that's exactly why the extra help would be so beneficial).2. If your child doesn't have ADHD, or has other issues besides ADHD in addition to a tendency to defiance, you will be tweaking quite a bit. (That's not really something I expect the author to improve, it's more of a buyer's heads up.)3. The token system didn't really work at all with my 2 1/2 year old. And he's fairly bright, if I say so myself. The cover indicates that the material is appropriate for 2-12. I think 6-10 year olds would benefit much more than kids on either end of the range. Now, in the actual book, Barkely indicates the token system would work with children with a cognitive ability of 2 or higher. I think that might be accurate. A child of 8 with a cognitive disability is different than an actual 2 year old in many ways, however. And, as mentioned above, the parents will be adjusting like crazy, I would imagine.4. Be aware that the author recommends against customizing the program. I can understand why, but if your child isn't the 'target kid' you will have to tweak it quite a bit.

I have read several other books that speak to this topic. Most were heavy on descriptions and light on actual practical advice. This book lays out very straight-forward steps, that the author - a PHD - says have been tried and refined on thousands of families -- and that it has been highly successful. I am only on week/step 2. So I cannot say whether I am a success yet. But it sure feels right. All of it feels like this just might be it. Thank you, Russel A. Barkley.

This Author was referred to me by a Penn State Hershey Professor who is in charge of the ADD/ADHD/ODD study my child and I participated in. They referred this Author's books to me and suggested that we utilize his work when looking for ways to deal with our child's ADD/ADHD/ODD. The 8 steps are very useful and realistic.

This book is quite dense, dry reading. We can't seem to get past first few chapters of just reading other people's horror stories, I mean examples.

Recommended to us by a child psychologist, This was such a help to figuring out our sons behavior, and now, after following it's steps, our Boy is a totally different kid. The principles in this book have made us better parents in many ways. I think our relationship with our son would have deteriorated a great deal without the help and insights here. Thank you for understanding so much about defiant kids!

This is a good self help book to use in cases where Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is not available. It follows the same principles and explains things in a way parents can understand.

Great boom

A "must read" for all parents!A structured and practical programme with many examples that deal as a question and answer.

nice book..

Excellent, helpful book!

Great book!