Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change

I recently read this book as part of my effort to sort through the emotional devastation of my second divorce to a man whom I clearly loved too much. This book allowed me to see all the ways I went wrong in this four-year relationship, and it also helped me to understand WHY it went wrong. I also now clearly understand that this is a pattern for me, in general, in relationships, and now I can start the work of trying to find new patterns.With that said, I think it's important to couple this book with "Men Who Can't Love" by Steven Carter. (All of Steven Carter's material is very helpful for people trying to understand and improve their relationships, in my opinion). While "Women Who Love Too Much" puts the majority of the blame on the women in these situations, Carter offers the opposite viewpoint: it's not our fault; we respond as any woman would when confronted with a commitmentphobic man and all his irrational, outrageous behavior. Carter's book allowed me to understand my ex-husband's behavior from a different, albeit accurate, point of view.I think the truth probably is somewhere in the middle. In my case, I managed to get involved with a highly commitmentphobic man who showed all the warning signs from the first date, and then I spent four years driving myself absolutely insane loving him too much. It's like the absolute worst combination possible, haha. The end of the relationship has been devastating and confusing, but these two books have given me tremendous insight and hope that my future can be different. For the first time in my life I'm embracing my single life and the options that come along with it.If you are obsessing over your husband/boyfriend, wondering why he can't just get his crap together and be happy with you, please read both these books. You need to understand your own motivations, as well as his, to make some decisions about whether or not it's truly worth all the stress and anxiety you're likely in. Chances are, it's not.

I found this book on a bench at work and after reading the first few pages I was in tears. It was overwhelming how much I could relate to everything she said and I think it took me two days to finish the whole book. I left it in a random place and prayed that someone who needed it would cross its path as I did. Recently I bought my own copy on Amazon and I lend it to friends who also love too much. It is extremely eye-opening and hits home in understanding why some of us love the way we do. If you are tired of suffering, feeling drained and always being the giver when it comes to love, this book is compulsory reading if you ever want to be free. I would also suggest "Men who hate women and the women who love them" if you are feeling mistreated or abused.

Sat down this Sunday morning to read a few chapters in Robin Norwood's Women Who Love Too Much and finished the last chapter 4 hours later. I found Norwood's work insightful and easy to digest. Her belief is that the Love Too Much condition arises out of dysfunctional childhood experiences leaving the woman (or man) recreating familiar circumstance in an adult relationship to work through the childhood problems (not sure, but I believe this principle is also the bases for Imago Therapy?)."A dysfunctional family is one in which members play rigid roles and in which communication is restricted to statements that fit these roles...Members are not free to express a full range of experiences, wants, needs and feelings, ....we learn to not believe in our own perceptions or feelings....We become unable to discern when someone or something is not good for us." I grew up in a nice home with parents that provided well for the family, I never heard my parent fight or saw them drunk, but perhaps typical of kids in the 1970's south, we girls were expected to always be nice, polite and respectful......we were NOT allowed to express any type of "negative" emotions or disagree with them EVER.My book is now if filled with underlined and highlighted passages, but here is another of my favorites; "True acceptance of an individual as he is, without trying to change him through encouragement or coercion, is a very high form of love , and very difficult to practice...There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, but to place the source of happiness outside ourselves...means we avoid our ability and responsibility to change our own life for the better."There are lots of Norwood's case studies that are woven through the book that keeps the reading interesting and thought provoking...I had to laugh and agree that I could be a woman who is "addicted" to pain in suffering in personal intimate relationships....hope this helps me break the hurtful pattern.

my mum recommended this book to me, before she passed on, mums friend had her copy, so I told her to keep it, I checked Amazon to see if they had it and they did, I now have the book, kinds like a nudge from my mum to read it, perhaps the book will help me heal from the past and learn from it. I would highly reading it

This book is a MUST read for anyone (not only women) who find themselves in a pattern of unfulfilling or toxic relationships. It helps you unpack your behaviours by knowing the source and realizing how you alone are responsible for the relationships you allow yourself to get into. It tore me down and built me back up...stronger. I have since recommended it to 4 people (1 man, and 3 women) who are equally blown away. It's a game changer. Once we fully understand our bad patterns and their source, it becomes impossible to deny them and super difficult (almost embarassing) to want to repeat them. This book is gold