Goodbye Days

“I’ve heard that people who lose a limb have a “phantom limb,” which itches and senses pain as though their body’s forgotten that it’s gone. I have a trinity of phantoms.”6 ugly crying starsUgh, I don’t know if I was hormonal (I’m a girl so it happens), an easy cryer (might be) or if this book was extremely emotional (undoubtedly) but I cried buckets while reading Goodbye Days.I was on the train and big fat tears kept falling on my cheeks, along my neck… I was sniffling all the time (how gracious I know). I tried every trick I know: looking at the ceiling to try avoiding the tears; blowing my nose at the slightest inkling of water; chanting “this is not true, this is fiction, Carver/Blade does NOT exist”; telling myself to “breathe in, breath out, blow slowly….” NOTHING WORKED.By the end of the book I had puffy red eyes and a congested nose. As I read till the wee hours to finish the story I was sporting slits for eyes the morning after and yawning all the time at work.Jeff Zentner with his Goodbye Days opened my chest, tore my heart out and scattered the remaining pieces all around the floor.Blade/Carver had lost his tree best friends, the Sauce Crew in a car accident and he HURT all the time. Worse he was texting the driver just before the accident happened and he feels guilty. He is drowning in guilt. Not only survivor guilt but “maybe murderer of your best friends” guilt.The “beat me up”, despise me because I’m undeserving of forgiveness guilt.All along when I witnessed people conspiring against Blade, be it Adair Eli’s twin sister, Eli’s dad or Mars’s father JudgeEdward I really wanted to shout: open your eyes guys! Maybe he sent that text but the driver was a fool. He could choose not to answer while driving. He could have been careful and wise! It’s not Blade’s fault it’s Mars fault! How could they not see it? I was beyond rightfully indignant. I was MAD at these people.Now I guess it’s easier to blame someone alive than a dead guy. With Blade they had an outlet. They could throw all their anger and grief to his head. They could hurt him as much as they were hurting. They could…And Blade was crumbling under the sorrow, the guilt, the grief. He had panic attacks. He wanted to disappear.This story addresses the topic of grief. All the ways people use to cope with grief. The sorrow, the anger, the acceptance and then the forgiveness.The goodbye days were beautiful sometimes, dreadful other times or a harsh catharsis.Blade was a generous and vulnerable character. He was gutted by what happened and wore his heart on his sleeve. Jesmyn helped him cope with the grief and she was a lovely character as well but Blade has a rare uniqueness in his frailty and honesty.I loved Blade. Fiercely. Protectively. Utterly and unconditionally.I loved Nana Betsy her strength and generosity.I loved Georgia she was a kickass big sister.I loved reading about Sauce Crew and their pranks. I was baffled when I read what happened to Blake and realize he still had not a bad word about anyone.I loved Jeff Zentner’s writing, so realistic, sensitive and vivid. It hit every cranny and nook in my soul. It made me bleed out.I loved…everything. I can’t fault a thing in this book. Because it made me feel. It made me hurt and smile sometimes. It made me fear the worse. It made me forget my world and live in Blade’s heavy world for some hours. That’s what I expect from books: to make me travel and experience other’s lives. To make me ponder and think on hard topics.Jeff Zentner turned my world upside down and I need to recover.Oh and replenish my stock of tissues.And invest in waterproof mascara.And sleep some more.And …

The Serpent King was one of my favorite books of 2016 and now Jeff Zentner is back again with Goodbye Days. I've been putting off reading this book because I knew from the summary that this would be a heavy, emotional read. I would definitely recommend reading this book with at least a box of tissues within arms reach. I managed to become entirely immersed in the story and Carver's life, and this book is just raw emotion. It handles grief, loss, family, and religion in a way that I've rarely read in YA books.Goodbye Days is told from only one point-of-view - Carver Briggs, the boy who sent a text that may or may not have caused the death of his three best friends. The Sauce Crew. A group of four boys (Carver Briggs, Blake Lloyd, Eli Bauer, and Mars Edwards) who have been inseparable ever since they met. The story seamlessly weaves their history into Carver's present day. Their stories are beautiful and normal, young and invincible.This book shows grief can come in many forms. Blake, Eli, and Mars' families grieve in different ways. Blake's grandmother wishes to celebrate the life of brilliant, comedic grandson; Eli's parents want nothing to do with Carver; Mars' father is a judge and wants to see someone blamed for the death of his son.And all the while, Carver blames himself.Carver, luckily, isn't left to handle his grief and anguish alone. I love that this story has a support system for Carver. He has his older sister, Georgia, and Eli's girlfriend, Jesmyn, who try to support him, even when, in Jesmyn's case, she's grieving too. When Carver starts experiencing panic attacks, I like that this story shows Carver getting professional help and seeing a therapist and I enjoyed reading his sessions with Dr. Mendez. These sessions are healing to read in a way I didn't expect. Dr. Mendez's suggestion to have Carver tell stories during their sessions seems kind of odd at first, but I loved seeing how all this fell into place at the end of the book.There's something grounding about this book. The grief feels real. It's relatable for anyone who has ever experienced loss. I love that Zentner doesn't shy away from talking about religion in his books and in Goodbye Days, he shows what God means to the three grieving families and shows something differeint from all their perspectives. Does believing in God and heaven and hell make the death of a beloved one any easier? This book never makes it seem like bleieving is ever superior to not believing. Religion is woven into this story without ever shoving it in your face, because it seems to be a part of the characters. Whether or not the character believe in Christianity, in the end, the dead are still gone.The last chapter absolutely just broke my heart, but in an uplifting sort of way. This book is heart-wrenching, and yet it manages to slowly piece together a shattered heart as you go through this story with Carver. I loved reading Goodbye Days. This writing is beautiful, and the story just hits you in the feels. I would highly recommend this book for all ages, not just YA readers.***Thanks to Random House for providing me an ARC through NetGalley***

After first reading the blurb for Goodbye Days, I was happy that an author was finally going to write about the dangers of texting and driving. It's such a dangerous thing to do and so many people die because of it. So to have a young adult book address this is amazing.One day Carver Briggs had it all--three best friends, a supportive family and a reputation as a talented writer at his high school, Nashville Academy for the Arts. The next day it all crashed and burned, literally, after he wrote them out of existence with a text sent to his friend Mars--the last words his friends ever see.Carver can't stop blaming himself for the fatal crash and he's not the only one. But Carver has some unexpected allies: Eli's girlfriend, who is the only person to stand by him at school, and Blake's grandmother, who asks Carver to spend a Goodbye Day with her--having him stand in as Blake for one last day doing all their favorite things so they can share memories and say a proper goodbye.Soon Eli and Mars's families are asking for a Goodbye Day with Carver--but he's unsure of their motives. Will they all be able to make peace with their losses, or will these Goodbye Days bring Carver one step closer to prison or a complete breakdown?This book gripped me immediately. We were taken straight into the story line and I felt like no build up was necessary; we were given character foundations through flashbacks that Carver had. I just felt so sorry for Carver but it also made me think about my actions. Carver knew that Mars was driving when he text him and Mars went to answer Carver's text. Who's in the wrong? Carver or Mars? Personally, I text my Mom when I know she is driving, but I know that she'll reply once she is parked up. So does that make me equally as guilty as Carver? I don't know... let me know your thoughts on this...I also loved how panic attack were portrayed in Goodbye Days, I think Zentner describes them spot on. I actually got quite emotional reading Carver have a panic attack because it made me realise how scary it is for the people around you to witness it happening.However, there were a few problematic areas for me....1) During one of the flashbacks, Carver and Blake are shown to make jokes about hanging themselves and they then go on to imitate cutting their wrists... This was deeply upsetting to read, because it shouldn't be used in a humorous context..2) The second problematic area for me was when *slight spoiler ahead* Blake came out as gay to Carver but then Carver automatically questioned Blake as to why Blake wasn't attracted to him. Just because someone is gay or lesbian, that does not mean that they are automatically attracted to everyone who is the same sex.So yeah, those were the two problematic areas for me that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. But this was a very good book and I loved the way Zentner showed that it wasn't strange to see a therapist to get some help. He made it feel normal (to a certain extent. There were a few times where Carver asked if he "was crazy yet?" that didn't really sit right with me. Having panic attacks doesn't make you 'crazy') Georgia - Carver's sister - also went to therapy which I thought was good because, again, Zenter showed that therapy was normal."But understand that young black men have no margin for error in this country. I had to teach him that. I had to teach him that he can be the son of a judge, but if he acts the way young white men do - the way his friends do - he will be treated more harshly. People, police - they won't see a judge's son. They won't see a kid who worked hard and mostly stayed on the straight and narrow. They'll see another 'young thug' - the term du jour for all young black men in certain circles. They'll go through and find every picture of him wearing clothes that are too big for him, or flipping off a camera, or acting like a normal, rambunctious young man, and that will be all the proof anyone will need that he got what was coming to him."- Jeff Zentner, Goodbye DaysI have one more issue. It's not problematic, it's just something that i didn't like about the book. *spoiler ahead* I hated it. Absolutely HATED it when Carver started to fall in love with Jesmyn. No. She was your best friends boyfriend. You do not get to love her. It's wrong. It's so disrespectful to the memory of his best friend. And you know the most infuriating bit? I knew it was going to happen. Once they started hanging out and helping each other with their loss, I knew he was going to fall in love with her. And I didn't want that at all. I am so glad she said no.However, overall this is amazing book. I loved the whole concept of it, I loved the message that Zentner was conveying, I loved the characters, I loved Zentner's writing style (apart from those few problematic areas) and the ending just made me cry. I do definitely recommend this book if you're looking for a brilliant contemporary.Disclaimer: this book was sent to me by the author in exchange for an honest review

I read this book in two days and as much as it broke the way that carvers panic attacks just snuck up on him are the most accurate representation I have ever read. Zentner has a very unique style of writing that perfectly describes what carver must be feeling in a way that doesn't shove it down our throats

Excellent value great product

I have no words. This book was everything. I haven't cried so much in a long time. There was so much emotion, I had to take breaks every few chapters out of fear I might dehydrate.Jeff Zentner is a literary genius. He could probably write a shopping list full of emotion and heartbreak.But "Goodbye Days" isn't a shopping list. It's a story full of sadness, grief, guilt, mistakes but also about strength, hope and resilience.It's the kind of story that puts you through a blender and when there are only pieces of you left, that's when it starts putting you together again.Though the book primarly deals with Carver's guilt and grief over the death of his three best friends, it goes way deeper than just that. I've never been in Carver's situation - thankfully - but not only could I feel his emotions, was crippled by his guilt and his pain, I also could relate to so many other aspects that this book talks about. So many thoughts were expressed that resonated with me.There aren't many authors who can do what Jeff Zentner does. The writing is lyrical, poetic and at the same time relatable. It's filled with emotion without being cheesy. It's atmospheric to the point that I as a reader could feel the wind on my skin, smell the autumn air and feel my heart breaking.Jeff Zentner isn't scared of digging deep, exposing the vastness of human emotions, their flaws, their weaknesses but also their love, their strength and their goodness.His characters aren't perfect - not the main ones, not the supporting ones. And with that they are extremely realistic and life-like.I love how in "Goodbye Days" he took a devastating tragedy and wasn't scared to show all the darkness and sadness that comes with it, but still managed to bring humor into the story, an occasional lightness that gave hope, a love of living that was evident on every page.I could go on and on about how touching, beautiful, amazing this book is. But I wouldn't do it justice.So you should read it for yourself. It's worth your time and your money in my humble opinion.6 I-didn't-want-to-say-goodbye-to-the-characters stars.

That's not just about the grief; it's about how our lives affect others. It's gorgeous!